Thursday, July 07, 2005

St Valentines Day: Foot Flirtations

In the early 90s, Dianne Brill was a model, actress and fashion designer. Dianne was voted the most desirable body of the decade and her body image was taken by Adel Rootstein and used for her shop window mannequins. In her book Boobs, boys and high heels she includes a section on Foot Flirtations, which I thought, might intrigue our listener. Playing footsie has been known since the Middle Ages but perhaps never described in such detail as Dianne does in her book. According to this fashion dogne, there are six ways you can play footsie. The first starts with a toe nudge followed by delicate investigation up under the trouser hem. She suggests you follow this by resting your foot against your partner, alternating between removing the pressure then pushing again. To be effective this should be done in a spontaneous manner so the pathetic individual in unsure if the contact is intentional or utterly innocent. Another way to torment men is by sitting at a distance then continues to cross and uncross the legs. Done slowly and sensuously, the sound of the legs gliding languorously over each other is reported to be hypnotic. When sitting facing a partner, the Cross-Action B method comes into play. Here the lady wraps her right leg over his left leg so it rests between his legs. The temptress then swings her calf before finally pointing the toes at which point the poor partner is left as if putty in her hands. Foot flirtations continue with the Seductive Adjustment A move which is still in the same position as Cross Action B but this time the lady leans forward to adjust the base of her shoe. Leaving her fingers to linger on the feet she actively engages her partner in eye contact. This move is guaranteed to make the coldest victim's heart melt. A variation on this theme is when the lady stands leaning forwards over her hips. With one leg bend at the knee, she toys playfully with her shoe strap or stocking. Coming up to full height the head is tossed haughtily as her hips swivel forward and she wears that smile. No mortal can resist the temptation. The Devilish Dangle is the last position to be described. Here the lady sits cross-legged with one shoe allowed to slip off revealing the tender underside of the foot. Slight movement of the legs allows the shoe to dangle from the toes in a tantalizingly manner. The author does suggest you practice this at home until perfected otherwise if the shoe plops loudly to the floor then the magic, seductive spell is broken. All of these moves require tremendous muscle action and am sure could be gainfully used in the prevention of economy class syndrome not to mention making flying experience even more exciting.

Brill D 1999 Boobs, boys and high heels 1993 London: Vermillion

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